by Rabbi Wendy Spears
Everything takes longer than you think it will. This is one of my mom’s teachings, and she’ll be happy to know that I think she’s right. (Thanks, Mom!) Because I live in Los Angeles, I drive in traffic much of the time that I am on the road. The infrastructure of this city was not built to accommodate so many people and their cars. People who are not from Los Angeles can’t really understand why the traffic is so terrible here. One of the reasons is because things are really spread out; everything is far away. I read on a recent blog that Angelenos don’t really know the mileage from place to place, but can know pretty accurately how much time it will take to get from one place to another — so true. It takes a good 30-40 minutes to get anywhere in light traffic; the same distance can take 3 to 4 times as long in heavy traffic. Or there can be an accident that requires finding an alternate route around the traffic. Then it’s necessary to figure in time to find a parking space, park, get out of the car, and walk the rest of the way to the destination.
So, I wait around a lot. In traffic. Out of traffic, while the people I’m meeting are waiting in traffic. Sometimes, there’s unusually light traffic and I arrive at my destination sooner than I expected. Thus, I am once again waiting for an event to start. One of my life lessons this time around is cultivating a sense of patience. By nature, I’m rather an impatient person. I find it difficult to wait if I don’t have something to do while I’m waiting. I try to prepare and bring along a book to read or a project to knit. I find both of these to be a spiritual practice. The knitting is meditative, stitch after stitch, row by row, in rhythm. I can sing prayers to myself while I’m knitting, or other songs that I find uplifting. I love non-fiction, so the reading is usually a learning experience, a Jewish way of study to help me make decisions in making the world a better place.
I’m not one of those people who finds daily meditational practice effortless. It certainly takes work on my part. In some ways, it can be a task to check off my list. I’m impatient to finish being patient. But impatience makes me feel grumpy and intolerant of the way things are. When I’m waiting, though, my spiritual practices of learning or knitting are part of what I do to be more patient. For me, being patient is making the spiritual space that I need to be kinder, to slow down, to be tolerant, helping me face the world in a more peaceful way. The more I cultivate patience, the happier I am. That has to be better for the way things are, letting the world be how it is and not how I would have it be.
Rabbi Wendy Spears is a community rabbi in Los Angeles. Find her at http://www.rabbiwendy.com.
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